Facebook, a manipulative plot to take over the world

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Arman Zadeh, Staff Writer

This is the fourth in a series of four articles that will focus on social media and its place in high school.

Admit it, we’ve all laughed a little too hard at one point after visiting Facebook. What has now become the easiest excuse for avoiding work is only getting better with the evolution of memes and comedy as we know it. With thousands of pages on Facebook constantly posting new content intended to make any person with a soul laugh, it’s no wonder students do not get any work done.

For the most part, I love the humor. I love the sarcasm of the “You don’t say” memes, I love the cleverness of those who can hit “right in the childhood” and I adore the condescending Wonka. But there are a few things I can’t stand on the wonderful world of Facebook.

First off, I cannot stand the photos of the “sick” little kids with a “rare disorder” that only the power of Facebook sharing can heal. You know what I’m talking about: the photos with a long elaborate description explaining what is supposedly wrong with this child and that Facebook has agreed to donate five bazillion dollars for every like and/or share of this photo. I refuse to share any of these. One, making me go on a guilt trip will not get anything out of me. For instance, every time I see a one of those Sarah McLachlan commercials, I consider it sing-along time. And I am convinced I am a better singer than she. Two, these posts are frivolous because Facebook has publicly said on numerous occasions they have never partnered up with anyone to donate money off of shares and likes, therefore destroying any reason to possibly post such a picture with true intentions. For instance, recently, i saw a photo of a young girl, her head shaved, but she was smiling. The caption read something like “This girl passed away a few minutes ago, Please share if you show respect.” Are you kidding me? Even if the guy who posted the picture was telling the truth, it irritates me how the first thing he would do is post a picture of most likely a family member to Facebook. As if he was ready with the post and just waiting for her to pass. Disgusting.

Another thing I often run into on Facebook are tacky stories that use large, biological terms to play with the emotions and confuse the general public to believe in something completely untrue. For instance, the other day I saw a random post by some guy living in God-knows-where that stated Oxytocin is this special love chemical released by women when they find the perfect match and creates a super duper love bond between the two that lasts forever and can only be broken by the almighty forces of death. Well, if AP Biology has taught me anything, it is that Oxytocin is NOT released when a woman is in love and can only in fact be released when she nursing or giving birth. So haha to you, random guy who I will never come in contact with for the rest of my life.

I think what I’m trying to say here, is, there’s no arguing that Facebook is great, just filled with too much spam. And to the people who buy into these tricks, I only hope you can one day see how gullible you really once were.

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